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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

My messages...

My message today:

Like I said in my last post, not silent!  I head to Vegas tomorrow, maybe I'll get a post up on the plane :)  If not look for a big picture dump on Sunday or Monday next week.  I start my teaching licensure class next Monday and will be finished July 25th, I can't wait.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

God is not silent.

I'm sitting in the waiting room for my insemination this morning... I'm the only one here! 
I turned the tv on and was headed for the news when I came across Joel Osteen on the tv.  I stopped to watch because I won't make it to church this morning... I'll have to watch the Daystar service when it is up online. 

Anyway long story short the sermon was about having faith and trusting God. The first words I heard were "believe in your blessings, believe that there is a child headed your way.  That baby you want so badly is headed your way." He spoke of Psalms 113: 
So through my struggles I must believe in my blessings and believe that I will receive my blessings because I remain faithful. The Lord made his promises and I am ready to receive! Amen!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Living life...

Sorry for the short hiatus, I am back.  I was getting to a very ugly spot in my journey, a place where I found it difficult to be nice and where I was so ANGRY.  Angry with myself, my body, everyone and everything around me.  I decided not to write during this fit of anger because I didn't want to hurt anyone that I love.  I honestly think through prayer and the support of a new infertility small group I was able to get back in control of my anger.  I don't think I'm done being angry, but I have a better handle on it.

So, what have we been up to over the past few months... some traveling and finishing out the school year.  We went to The Greenbrier last weekend, my husband had a conference to go to and I was able to go and just relax!


We got there Thursday and had a wonderful dinner followed by this amazing banana split!

Friday morning we went to the Gun Club, my husband loves to shoot sporting clays and has made this a tradition.  I was able to join, but I did not shoot.  Having that much power in my hands is really frightening.  I had a great time hanging out with my husband and father-in-law that morning before their conference.

During their conference, I went to the pool for the day, followed by afternoon tea and a second amazing  dinner.  The Greenbrier really does know how to do food!

On Saturday, I was able to spend the entire morning and some of the afternoon at the spa.  I really am one lucky girl!  I had a massage followed by a facial all while being pampered by the awesome staff! You check in before your appointment, sit in a "relaxing" room and then go back for your treatments. After your treatments (or between) you can use the steam shower or sauna, it is so wonderful!  Here are some pictures from the relaxation room.

Okay, back to the issue at hand. Infertility.  Let me offer some advice to anyone out there who may be reading this and not going through infertility.  NEVER, EVER, EVER ask a woman when or if she is going to have a baby or another baby.  JUST DON'T DO IT.  Also, don't tell infertile women to relax, if one more person tells me to "just relax," I might lose it.  Infertility is a real and devastating medical condition, relaxing does not cure cancer... Relaxing will not cure my infertility.

I had a follicle study today (transvaginal ultrasound) and I have 2 good follicles on the left side.  I ask you, if you're reading this to please pray that these two follicles will travel down the fallopian tube and be fertilized!  I have shifted my prayers from asking or begging to be pregnant to asking God to please heal my fallopian tubes (we think there is endometrosis present in the tubes).  Sunday is the day!

When I was leaving the doctor's office today, I was frustrated because they didn't schedule the IUI while I was at the office.  There is a lady who usually works in referrals and she schedules the appointments before I leave.  She is out on maternity leave and the person covering her does not do it the same way she does and I can't stand it.  I am a girl who loves routines and order and she does not give me my routine.  I am learning to live with it, I cannot change her.  I got in my car and started going to work, the most perfect song was playing on The Message.  If that wasn't my message today, I don't know if I have ever received a message.

I am finishing up work this week and have so much more to write.  I need to get ya'll caught up!  I will do a better job of handling my anger and writing about this journey so that someday I can lead a small group and say look, I was where you are and this is where I am now.  There are so many wonderful people in my life now and I appreciate each one of them.