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Monday, March 3, 2014

Beyond frustrating.

This whole process has been a bigger struggle than I would have ever imagined.  Today I started spotting, which means that my cycle will start within the next 3 days.  I have tried and tried this entire month to be faithful, now it was all just a let down.  I find it so infuriating, it doesn't help that I am constantly surrounded by insensitive people, pregnancy and babies.  

It is really frustrating to have someone constantly show you maternity clothes, baby things, their pregnant stomach, ultrasound pictures, etc.  I know these people love me and are just excited to share their current life situation with me.  But really, you know I have been struggling with this, why, why, why must you throw it in my face every chance you get?  I know I am being bitter, but I am about to lose it.  

So, today I jumped on Amazon and ordered Fertilaid, Fertile CM and Ovaboost, I am willing to try anything that will help.  I stopped my acupuncture, I wasn't sure if she was interfering with the doctor's plan.  The Fertilaid I purchased is a specialized multivitamin.  I have read multiple reviews of the product and hopefully it will work for me too.  Here is the link: FertilAid.

I think one of the most frustrating parts of this whole thing is that when I call the doctors office this week, I am afraid they are going to tell me we'll do the same thing this month for a 3rd time.  SERIOUSLY???!?!  I might flip.  (Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.) I will try to pray on it this week before I call, hopefully she'll say lets try this, or add that or do this.  

Sunday's service was a great service, about The Holy Spirit.  Without the Holy Spirit one cannot be a Christian.  There were three important things from the message: 1- The Holy Spirit brings conviction 2- Holy Spirit brings salvation 3- Holy spirit brings God's presence.  I am forever grateful for the salvation brought upon us by the Holy Spirit.  I am working on conviction, there are many times where sin gets the best of me, I wish I could see it more clearly and ask for forgiveness sooner.  

Prayer requests for this week:
  1. Please pray that I will have emotional stability this week, that I will be open to the direction I am to be going.
  2. For continued support from my husband
  3. For understanding from my close friends
  4. For the doctor and may she have guidance in the decisions she makes

I love this song, it is played with frequency on The Message and we were singing it at church this week, how fitting for my life right now:

Sunday, after church, I made two delicious quiche for brunch and then finished a wreath project that I had started on Saturday.  I love deco mesh wreaths and wreaths accented with deco mesh, but I am not willing to pay $100 for a wreath or two (I have two front doors).   This is how I made them:

Attach your primary color deco mesh ribbon to the wreath frame with pipe cleaners starting on the inside.

Measure 12 inches, gather the ribbon and attach to the next pipe cleaner.  Continue around inside circle and then outside circle.

Make small ribbon clusters with primary, secondary and ribbon.  fasten with pipe cleaner.

Attach to wrest pipe cleaners to cover.

Add a bow.

Add initial

Finished product.

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