Sunday... my favorite day of the week!

Sunday is my favorite day of the week, for a few reasons:

1. Church, I love going to church and I have found a great place to worship.  You can watch the services for yourself and see why it is just simply amazing! https://www.daystargso.com/media  It really is funny that our topic is Sexual Revolution right now, he preaches about how awesome sex can be and how wonderful it should be.  Sometimes I feel like an animal just trying to procreate.  I'm not really feeling it right now.
2. Grocery shopping.  I am not much of a shopper, but when it comes to shopping for groceries count me in!  I always shop or order my groceries on Sunday.
3. A holy day, I was reading the Ten Commandments yesterday in my One Year Bible... http://www.godstenlaws.com/ten-commandments/#.UvfAZ3mUy5c  on a side note, if you're not currently reading a bible, may I suggest you head over to Amazon and start reading this very straightforward planed out bible.  http://www.amazon.com/One-Year-Bible-NIV-ebook/dp/B007EF7VWE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391968484&sr=8-1&keywords=one+year+bible
4. Relaxing at home with my husband and three dogs.  If the husband is on call for the weekend, Sunday is the day he goes off.  I really look forward to Sundays on his call weekends, there is an end in sight!

What a great weekend, minus my husband being on call.  Yesterday I went to a kickboxing class for the first time at the gym and I am paying for it today!  It feels great!  I went shopping after my workout and realized a few things... 

1. Infertility sucks (doesn't really count, I already knew this)
2. There are babies and children EVERYWHERE I look and I mean EVERYWHERE.
3. Its getting to the point where I actually cringe when I see a stroller sometimes, or ask God, why are you doing this to me.  When I know he is really not doing anything to me or trying to punish me, but I just feel like he is sometimes.
4. I cannot go to a baby shower right how.  I was invited to a baby shower and I just cannot handle it.  This is for one of the people who have complained of pregnancy pains on FB.  If only she could imagine how it feels to not get pregnant.
5. Sometimes I just need to cry, whether it be in the car or in the bathroom, a good cry has been helpful.  I do not like to cry in front of other people about infertility.  Somedays on my way to or from work, something as simple as a song will make me cry.  Like the one posted above.  I can't help but feel like God is sending me a message sometimes.
6. If you post a pregnancy announcement on FB I will probably remove you from my newsfeed. (just being honest)
7. Infertility can sometimes be isolating.  Its not that I want to isolate myself from my friends or husband, but really how many people in my life can currently relate to what I am going through.  Sometimes I wish people would ask how it is going, sometimes I wish people would just leave me alone about it.  
8. I am willing to do/try just about anything, eat pineapple, give up running, drink grape juice, sleep on my back, walk across fire.  WHATEVER IT IS, I WILL TRY IT.

Last night we had dinner with two friends and their 7 month old baby (which did not make me sad).  It was great to have dinner and go out.  We walked into Mellow Mushroom and there were kids everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE!  The wait was 45 minutes so we left and went to a different pizza place in town.  The waitress messed up the order and it was my portion of the meal.  Gah!  It was frustrating, I found myself thinking don't chew her head off it is just food.  I was able to keep calm and carry on, but seriously how does one mess up a pizza order.

So today, I got up early had coffee, went to a great service at church and now I am here relaxing at home.  Today is day 4 of my hormones and I really feel great.  I was worried when I started them for the first time last month about becoming moody, I think they have the opposite affect on me. LOL.  I will also start my herbs today from the acupuncturist.  FIVE more days until my follicle study, and my fingers are crossed for great looking follicles.   

Back to work tomorrow, I miss the 3 day work week I had working in the hospital sometimes, but I would really miss my students if I were not teaching.  I am feeling torn about my job at this point.  I'm not sure where I will be next year, still teaching or back in nursing.  The reality is teaching is far more enjoyable and rewarding, but the hours are longer and the pay is about half.